10 Strategies for Keeping Our Calm Through the Holidays

I love the Holidays.  I love the decorations, the music, the food, the movies, the gift wrapping, the baking, and the gathering with friends and family.  But we all know – it’s a LOT of work! As we pressure ourselves to create the “perfect” holiday season, our to-do list grows and GROWS.  And, let’s face it, spending time with all that family can, at times, be . . . ahem . . . trying.

So, let’s take a look at stress and what it does to us, and then explore some strategies to manage it so we can keep our calm and enjoy the holiday season.

The Physiology of Stress

By now, my regular readers know how much I love to explore about the “how’s and why’s” of what’s happening in our bodies.  So, let’s do a quick breakdown of how stress affects us.  Stressors trigger our adrenal glands, which are two little peaked caps that sit on top of our kidneys.  The adrenal glands play a key role in a variety of systems – metabolic, circulatory, immune, and our bodies’ built-in reaction to stress . . . the fight or flight response, aka the sympathetic nervous system.   When we enter fight or flight, our adrenal glands release cortisol and epinephrine, which trigger a cascade effect that causes elevated heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, increased muscle tension, and an increase in blood sugar levels.  This is all designed to prepare our bodies to either fight for our lives or flee/run/get the heck out of dodge.  It’s all really cool when you think about it. 

I must share my favorite part of the fight or flight response because, as you know, I’m a science geek, and I think this is so amazing.  One of the results of this physiological cascade is that our blood vessels actually shrink down and go deeper into our bodies, which is an evolutionary response to protect us from injury.  Essentially, if we were face to face with a saber tooth tiger, that blood supply went into “protect” mode.  So freakin’ cool!

Okay, so we can see the evolutionary benefits of flight or fight as a response to a sudden stressor like danger.  But what happens when we are in a state of chronic, prolonged stress?  You guessed it – chronic, prolonged release of cortisol.  And that cortisol is going to do what it is designed to do . . . elevate our blood pressure and heart rate and increase our blood sugar levels.  Now, we know that none of this is good for us.  We were not built to be in a prolonged state of fight or flight, so we need to intentionally and proactively practice ways of lowering our stress level.

Strategies for Keeping our Calm

These are in no particular order, but even if you choose to practice just a few of them, these coping strategies will help you cultivate a calmer holiday season.

1. Exercise.

Exercise releases all those lovely endorphins (feel-good hormones).  It also lowers our cortisol and epinephrine levels, which enhances a sense of calm.  By fatiguing our muscles during exercise, our bodies naturally relax as our muscles recover.

For me, it is the single most effective tool I have for managing my stress and anxiety.  I have trained myself to wake up early to complete my most intense workout first thing in the morning.  Before I am distracted by all the business and tasks I have to do that day, I sweat and lift heavy weights.  Do I always feel like it?  Nope.  But I have never finished a workout and regretted it.  Not once.

Additionally, I schedule breaks throughout the day to get in little bursts of movement.  I may do a 15-30 minute yoga class.  Then, later, I’ll take Daisy on a 10-minute walk (that often turns into 30 minutes).  All this intentional movement improves my outlook and helps me stay calm and focused.

2. Breathe.

The practice of deep breathing releases endorphins and stimulates our parasympathetic nervous system.  The counter to our sympathetic, fight or flight system, the parasympathetic nervous system tells our bodies that we are safe.  This allows us to physiologically calm down via lowering our heart rate and blood pressure.

Utilizing specific breathing methods can lower anxiety and calm us down.  Here’s a link to an article that explains several to try the next time you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

3. Manage your diet. 

Get plenty of protein and fiber, and limit sugar and alcohol. I know this is hard to do this time of year, and I truly believe that we should enjoy the goodies that are part of our holiday traditions . . . in moderation.  During the holidays, try practicing the 80 – 20 method.  Choose foods that fuel your body 80% of the time, then for the other 20%, enjoy a festive dinner . . . or cocktail . . . or dessert, but enjoy it without guilt!

4. Get outside.

This one can be hard if you live in a cold environment like me.  The urge to stay inside where it’s warm and cozy is strong!  But getting outside, even for just 10 minutes, works wonders for our nervous system by lowering anxiety and stress and even reducing anger levels.  Don’t you find that after taking the time to bundle up, once you get outside, a 10-minute stroll can easily turn into 30 minutes? And even if it doesn’t, by giving yourself that 10 minutes in nature, you are helping to regulate your nervous system and promote that sense of well-being.

5. Try Yoga.

I purposely made yoga separate from exercise because I need a strenuous workout as part of my stress and anxiety management.  But I’ve also found that yoga is genuinely helpful for me.  There is something so centering and calming about connecting my breath with intentional movements. Here’s the thing – I am objectively terrible at yoga.  I have horrible balance, so I wobble all over the place and fall over for no reason.  But here’s the other thing – I can do yoga at home where no one is looking.  There are thousands of free yoga classes on YouTube.  I use my Peloton app to take beginner-level classes with my favorite yoga instructor, Chelsea Jackson Roberts.  She’s awesomely positive and encouraging, and she makes me feel like a yogi (even while I’m tipping over).  Another yoga tip – try a restorative yoga class!  You basically lay there with pillows or bolsters propping you in relaxing stretch positions while you breathe and close your eyes.  Ummm . . . yes, please!

6. Manage your sleep.

Believe me, I know all too well how difficult this can be.  The best advice I can give is to set yourself up for success.

• Move your body during the day.  We were designed to be active with sleep as our recovery.
• Limit your caffeine intake.
• Limit your alcohol intake.  Alcohol is a proven sleep disruptor.  If you’re using it for relaxation, you’re likely inadvertently disrupting your sleep.
• Stick to a sleep schedule – a set bedtime and wake-up time. Our bodies love a routine!
• Create a sleep environment that works for you. In case you missed it, check out my article, “Creating a Sleep Environment to Elevate our Zzzz’s”.
• Have a wind-down routine, which will trigger your mind and body to prepare for sleep.

7. Say “No” to invitations that drain you.

We all have social obligations.  And most of us have someone in our lives who stresses us out.  (Okay, sometimes that person(s) is our teenage offspring, and they live under our roof, and we are legally required to spend time with them).  But otherwise, for our peace and sanity, we need to sometimes say “no” to that friend who drains us.  As women, most of us have been raised to be “pleasers”, even at the expense of our own well-being.  We feel obligated to accept every party invitation or call to get together for a holiday drink, or coffee, or lunch . . . with friends, work colleagues, neighbors, that girl from middle school . . .  

I’m not saying to cut them out of your lives or to be unkind.  But an occasional “no” to an invitation that is making you feel anxious is not only allowed but encouraged.

8. Practice mindfulness and gratitude.

Whether it’s through journaling or just taking a moment to mentally list 5-10 things we are grateful for, practicing gratitude has been shown to ease anxiety.  If my anxiety starts up and I find myself in a loop-like thought pattern, I intentionally interrupt the stressful thoughts by focusing on and mentally listing specific things that I’m thankful for.  This cognitive behavioral coping skill has helped me immensely.  It takes practice to break patterns, but intentionally practicing gratitude is both calming and grounding. 

9. Consciously schedule time to treat yourself to something that relaxes you. 

For me, it’s taking a hot bath or getting cozy by the fire with a good book.  You do you! Now, literally, put it on your calendar and view it as a non-negotiable appointment.  Treat that scheduled calming self-care like you would treat a business meeting or dentist appointment.

10. Be mindful of what you expose yourself to.  

Protect your brain, emotions, and nervous system by being selective about what you let in.  If the news stresses you out, take a break from it.  Seriously.  It will still be there.  Your body and mind will thank you for tuning into something else.  Does the thriller novel you’re reading or the murder podcast you’re listening to stress you out and get your heart racing? Take a break from it.  Read something soothing and relaxing, even if it’s sappy.  By doing this, we are consciously choosing to expose our brains to calm, soothing stimuli rather than intense, stressful stimuli.  Being intentionally selective about what we read, watch, or listen to can work wonders in allowing our parasympathetic nervous system to take over to give us a bit of peace.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the holidays are truly difficult for some of us. Loss, loneliness, and painful circumstances can make this time of year incredibly hard. If you’re experiencing this right now, first, let me say how sorry I am. My wish for you is that you can find little moments to show yourself patience, kindness, and love. Mostly, I wish you peace.

Friends, we put so much pressure on ourselves to meet the needs of others. We are all over-scheduled, overworked, and just so dang busy.  However, we know that pouring from an empty cup is impossible, and allowing ourselves to be over-exposed to stress and cortisol is dangerous. We can utilize these coping strategies to slow down and develop a sense of calm that will allow us to soak up the joyful moments and arm us to ride out the challenging times.